While attending Calvin College as a dual major (English and Religion), I took my first worldview class. Chaplain Dale Cooper showed me that being a Christian is a whole different way of looking at life. I began to examine every area of my life in the light of Scripture. I began to sense God calling me to pastoral ministry, but I wanted to be sure. Both my father and grandfather were pastors (my father left the ministry in 1995; my grandfather continued until his death in 2007). I didn’t want to simply follow in the “family business.” I rationalized that this call might just be a way of trying to escape to the familiar. At the same time, I realized that I was in a dating relationship that was taking me away from Christ. So I broke off the two-year relationship.

The combination of grief over this loss and my running from the continual, insistent call of God sent me into a year-long depression. In the midst of this depression, I became very self-centered. I dropped out of school without telling my parents. I did everything I could to maintain the illusion of a well-balanced Christian, but I was destroying myself. Eventually, I could no longer live that lie. I gave up. I saw only two choices: kill myself or submit to God.

In wrestling with these choices, I realized that suicide is an ultimate act of unbelief. And I also realized that I did believe God but that my life did not match my belief. So I cried out to the Lord. I was broken, tired, and weak. I said, “Lord, I will do what you want me to do. But I don’t have the strength to do it on my own. You will have to do it through me.”

In that instant, I learned true grace for the first time. I confessed my sin to those whom I hurt and began to pursue God’s call on my life. I discovered real joy in worship and service. I tried every kind of service but soon found that my gifts were teaching and preaching. So I submitted to God and committed to him, praying, “If you will show me the way, I will become a pastor.”

From that point, I pursued my calling as a pastor. God confirmed this call in three ways:

1. First Baptist in Tustin, Michigan, called me to be their pastor.
2. In seminary, where I was presented with the Nicolai Weins Pastoral Ministry Award. This faculty award is given to the student who shows great promise for pastoral ministry.
3. One pastor in attendance at my ordination council commented “he had not attended any ordination council with a more clearly called and thoroughly prepared candidate than Pastor Sean. There was hearty agreement to this observation by all of the delegates.”

Over the years, God has continually shown that I am called to pastoral ministry. I love seeing lives changed as God uses my teaching and preaching to help people live, love, and lead like Jesus.